Baby's* first leather jacket
*i’m the baby Ahhhh I love sales. Seriously, I looked at the price tag and was like “fuck.” And then, like a gift from Bloomingdales meant for me only, I see the sign: “50% off.” It was fate. I mean, I’ve worn leather jackets before, but this one is MINE. And it’s BLACK. And it’s REAL. Ahhh I feel so good in it. It’s amazing how much one...
If a tiger loses all his hair, he’ll still be...
I just killed a bug by throwing a box on it.
I like this method. But I refuse to clean it up… so there’s still that issue.
Is there a "Words With Friends" etiquette?
You creep me out and you’re all touchy and weird and you asked me for my phone number in exchange for providing me with weed, so is it okay if I just don’t accept your WWF request?
Gots mah maturrials.
bleach powder, 30 developer, dye, toner, bottles, a comb… everything but gloves (oopsie) i hope my hair doesn’t fall out.
I know 1 person in my English class. The rest I don’t know or don’t hit it off well with (ie. find annoying). I know no one in my color theory class, though I’ve heard of one person. I know no one in my philosophy class and would go on to assume that I’m the only freshman in it. Which is fine. PHILOSOPHY IS GOING TO BE SO FUCKING DANK. Read the syllabus. so psyched. On...
fuckin "madewell" jeans ripped.
i bought them 3 weeks ago! you lie, brand name, you lie!
Fuck you Chuck Lorre.
How are you so popular? Why does my father worship you? You’re TERRIBLE. Date rape hahahahaha wow so funny. And of course every time a woman has hopes and dreams, it’s a sign she needs to calm down and get fucked, right? RIGHT! I hate you.
scientologists: when people call me pretty i’m like……. who paid you to say this
No more mind-altering substances until I feel comfortable in social situations without them. That’s how dependency happens, y’all.
Watching the Kennedy Center Honoree Ceremony
mom: Look! It's Clinton's wife! (about Michelle Obama)
mom: Do you know whose mom that is? (about Lionel Richie)
mom: He looks like a Mexican jumping bean (about Smokey Robinson)
Ladies & Gentlemen, I give you, the 2012...
Michelle Bachmann: "Don’t misunderstand. I am not here bashing people who are homosexuals, who are lesbians, who are bisexual, who are transgender. We need to have profound compassion for people who are dealing with the very real issue of sexual dysfunction in their life and sexual identity disorders.” (2004)
Ron Paul: "The rate of AIDS infection is on the increase again. From the gay point of view, the reasons seem quite sensible. First, these men don't really see a reason to live past their fifties. They are not married, they have no children, and their lives are centered on new sexual partners... because sex is the center of their lives, they want it to be as pleasurable as possible, which means unprotected sex. Third, they enjoy the attention & pity that comes with being sick." (1995 in a newsletter)
Rick Perry: "I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a Christian, but you don't need to be in the pew every Sunday to know there's something wrong in this country when gays can serve openly in the military but our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas or pray in school. " (2011 in a campaign ad)
Mitt Romney: "I should tell my story. I'm also unemployed." (2011 while speaking to unemployed people in Florida. Romney's net worth is over $200 million.)
Newt Gingrich: "She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer." (1994, about his first wife)
Rick Santorum: "Is anyone saying same-sex couples can’t love each other? I love my children. I love my friends, my brother. Heck, I even love my mother-in-law. Should we call these relationships marriage, too?" (2008)
Michelle Bachmann: "Carbon dioxide is portrayed as harmful. But there isn't even one study that can be produced that shows that carbon dioxide is a harmful gas." (2009 during a debate)
Mitt Romney: "PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." (2006, when questioned about driving 12 hours with his dog in a cage strapped to the top of his car)